The Cat Scanner from Cat Conundrums
Okay, it wasn’t a great job. It didn’t pay anything. It was volunteer stuff. But the work was steady. Very steady. And Melrose was a great employee. He never missed a day. Or night.
Needless to say, this created a lot of stress with V and O, who began to realize that the fastidious litter box thing was not the pleasant experience their instincts had directed them to. When they did manage to get in the box, they hurried out in fear. Then Melrose would go inside and do the paper work, burying the urine or feces himself. His attitude was: If you want a job done right, do it yourself.
Edith $apper was the lady of the house. That’s no misprint in her name. Mrs. $apper lived on Michigan Ave in a small but expensive condo overlooking the Lake. She had plenty of money, but she’d have given up half her fortune to have a little harmony in the family. When Vinegar and Olive Oyl abandoned their traditional restrooms completely because of Melrose, they found new and safer places to go. Including a $7,000 Persian rug. That’s when Mrs. $ sought professional help.
We both recognized that three cats in a tiny apartment was not the best situation. Cats are territorial, and forcing a close proximity was a recipe for problems. Plus, Melrose was a male cat and it is not unusual for the man of the house to feel in control. In fact, his control of the litter box was exactly that: a show of dominance.
First, I expressed my personal preference for boxes without a top
( see sidebar). Initially, this would discourage Melrose from assuming his sentinel position, although as you will learn, Melrose was a pretty ingenious feline.
I told Mrs. $apper to increase the number of litter boxes and spread them out in the bedroom, living room and kitchen so that V and O always had a choice and the terrorizing could be minimized.. But the problem was that the condo was relatively small and no matter where she placed the boxes, Melrose situated himself in such a position that he could still monitor them pretty well. With four boxes to watch, however, he was probably getting a major headache.
We then tried separating him from V and O by confining him to the bedroom during the day while Mrs. $apper was at work to eliminate some of the stress in the house so that V and O could have some pee and quiet. I even suggested that Mrs $ alternate which cats could spend the night in her bedroom, but let them be together when she was home during the day and could monitor them. I even encouraged that she put a bell on Melroses’s collar so that the other cats cold keep track of where Melrose was. We didn’t want to isolate them altogether because ultimately we did want to have them all live happily under one roof.
All things considered, we were pretty successful. Melrose must have been on overload trying to watch four litter boxes and decided to cut back on his hours. But still, Mrs $ sensed that harmony had not been fully established, which was really her over-riding concern. It was then that she called for one last conversation…
“Dr. Sampson, I just want you to know that my three cats are the most expensive pets in Chicago.”
“My fees are very reasonable, I assure you.”
“No, it’s not your fee. I decided to move so my cats would have more space and get along. I bought a bigger condo. It just cost me another half million.
She was right. Mrs. $ had the most expensive cats in Chicago
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